There was once a Mummy who loved her children, but couldn't afford to stay at home with them every day. In fact, she didn't want to stay at home with them, as her brain would become frazzled and she would shout at her husband a lot the second he walked through the door. The problem was, it was a bit tricky trying to be a good Mummy and trying to be a good worker. The Mummy and Daddy did not live in a huge house or have extravagant tastes, they did not buy lots of things or go on big holidays. In fact they never did anything for themselves at all. They both had good jobs but were finding it very hard to make ends meet.
Then one day the Mummy found that both her children were very poorly, she had no sleep for three nights in a row and had to go to work for ten hours each day. When she got home after the third day the first thing her son did was puke all over her work clothes. It was a sign.
The Mummy is desperately trying to find a way she can be at home with her two little boys and not lose her mind (or her house). The Daddy works really long hours and hardly ever gets to see his children. When the Mummy is not at work she is so exhausted and drained she hardly has any energy to do anything.
Something has got to give.
I feel your pain. It's a balancing act isn't it. I personally have worked part time and been a stay at home mum since my son was born. Do you work a little and have a bit more money (usually makes you feel guilty etc) or do you stay at home and sacrifice the money (usually results in having no money and being miserable in that way) I think everyone is different and there is no right or wrong. Only you know what would benefit your family all round. But I hope you find a way to make it easier on yourself and your family! :-) xx
ReplyDeletewww.atwentysomethingmum.blogspot.com
Aw it is hard I have to go back in April full time and i'm dreading it because as you discribe you are tired all the time and its difficult to juggle everything. You are not alone.
ReplyDeleteI just wrote a quick post on this too as I can't get it out of my head.
http://www.littlebluefeet.com/2012/02/8-weeks-to-go.html
I do sympathise, not easy, never was, my mum went back to work when I was 1 & I was with a childminder all day until I was 4, then after school till I was 10! I decided this wasn't for me when I had children so I started my own business & have been my own boss ever since. Been through ups & downs along the way but mostly ups & I know its not for everyone. My current business is 12 years old, how time has flown when you're having fun haha!!
ReplyDeleteIs there anything you can do to work from home maybe?? You've probably been through all the possibilities. I hope you can find a way through soon xx
I've racked my brains but I can't think what I could do that doesn't requite a lot of capital to set up. The only thing I could do otherwise is write...which I am...but don't see how I can make a living out of that.
DeleteIt's not easy. I took a job stacking shelves at Tesco, at night, essentially passing my husband at the door when he came home. Not glamourous I admit but it was enough to get out the house and earn a few pennies when I had my second baby. I had to do something to ensure we had a Christmas at the time. I couldn't face returning to my "career" part-time and fretting about both children at a childminder. My first, had had to go to a chiildminder at 4 months in order to return to work. Regretted it, every single day. There was absolutely no point on commuting and working just to hand over those £'s to someone else to look after them. Fingers x'd you find something.
ReplyDeleteThe government has to do something...you shouldn't have to pay top whack for good childcare! France seem to have got it right, why can't we have the same system here? The other thing is that employers have to be encouraged to "let" people work part time. To be it's a no brainer, but a sexist, archaic system seems to persist. It's mums who are running this country and keeping it going. These days men want a wife who can earn £100k a year, look amazing and do all the housework too! The feminist movement seems to have benefited men more than women!
DeleteI hear you! I am lucky enough to be a SAHM at the moment, but am busying myself getting ready to be a fully fledged WAHM - I think you may have seen my post on this. I have chosen this route because I want to make sure that I can always be there when my daughter needs me. I simply wouldn't be able to do this in my old line of work and the thought of getting a McJob just fills me with horror after all the years I worked hard building up experience and knowledge.
ReplyDeleteIf there was properly subsidised, quality childcare, then the whole workforce would benefit, not just the mums it would be helping to support directly.
I'm a nanny at the moment and trying to get the house approved for childminding. When I have a baby I don't want to be in a situation where I'm leaving my children with a childminder only to go and look after someone elses kids. Apart from suggesting everyone become childminders I have no idea how the government expects families to work and raise their children. I too have racked my brain for another venture that would enable me to work from home and keep baby home too but I've drawn a blank apart from becoming a nit lady where people bring their louse infested offspring to you and you zap their heads!
ReplyDeleteHi and thanks for your replies. What I thought I was doing before I had children was building up a decent career first then take some time off to have kids at a decent salary, coast for a while then come back all guns blazing when they are about 5. I can see this is a fantasy. There are no professional jobs where you can "coast" and when they are 5 it is still going to be just as hard what with illnesses, and then after school clubs and what not. My health visitor told me that parents are having to work evenings and nights and are like passing ships in the night. Is it any wonder families are breaking down what with the stresses and strains on us?
DeleteI work part-time as a teacher. It is quite a good job to combine with kids. However, I still worry about not being there all the time. Combining your children's needs with your own is complex. See my post http://wp.me/p29Oas-4o
ReplyDelete