Saturday, 5 May 2012

Sleep Training Day 2

Yesterday evening I was feeling very stressed and worried about the prospect of starting the sleep training set up for us by http://brendathenanny.co.uk/, I had completely prepared myself for a night of no sleep. Worst of all, even though I was completely exhausted, when I actually went to bed I couldn't sleep and my heart was pounding. I felt like a conditioned rat who had "learned" there was no point in even going to sleep as I would soon be waking up in complete despair.

During the day I kept to the routine fairly rigidly though I did let him have an hour and a half at 12.30 rather than an hour as he was very tired. The only other thing I changed was we had our normal evening meal at 5pm rather than a proper meal at 11.45 as I think this is going to be difficult for me to implement.

I eventually got to sleep about 11pm but unfortunately Son 1, who normally sleeps well started crying and claiming he was scared! I was *terrified* he would wake up Son 2 (since he was born I have discovered creaking floorboards in this house I never knew existed before!)so quickly went down to speak to him (probably breaking a golden rule but I can only cope with one child at a time!). About an hour later I heard the dreaded, "WHHAHH WHHAHH" and shuddered with fear at what would happen. He cried for about 15 minutes during which time I actually fell back to sleep. Next thing I knew it was 6.30am and Son 1 had crawled into bed with me. All hail the sleep plan! It seems to be working so far. Will update on day 3 tomorrow. CRPKXHHU2BQ

18 comments:

  1. Please consider reading the 'no cry sleep solution'. Leaving children to cry is damaging and there are other ways even if you feel like your at te end of your tether.

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    1. The studies that have indicated damage have involved studying children from Romanian orphanages. There is a significant difference between a child being left to cry for 10, 20, even 30 minutes, and a child who has spent long periods of time with virtually no attention or affection due to the serious lack of funds/staff available in those places.

      It would be hard to perform such a study outside of such an extreme environment, because it would be unethical to deliberately leave a child to cry until damage had been caused, simply for the sake of research. Any attempt to replicate the Romanian studies would be completely inaccurate due to the millions of other factors that would no doubt go alongside extremely long periods of crying.

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    2. Thats interesting. I has heard about possible neurological impact but didn't know what the study related to. It's certainly true that those orphans even when rescued and given lots of love later in life never recovered from the privation they suffered in those early days. X

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  2. I've read it! I agree with you and believe me I have tried every other option. Rather than leave him to cry endlessly we have decided to go in and reassure him we are still there without taking him out of his cot. This is rather a difficult issue and I can understand everyone has their own take on it.

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  4. Such a tricky and emotive subject. Each child will respond differently to the various techniques.

    My mum had a lovely method which worked better for us with child number 2 than the controlled crying did with number 1. (Both were effective, but I found my mum's method less stressful for me.) It involved constant reassurance through presence (not speech). And crying was almost non-existant. It worked very very well. Thanks Mum!

    http://yummymummyreally.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/parenting-advicesleep-how-to-keep-your.html

    and update here:
    http://yummymummyreally.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/parenting-wisdom.html

    I hope it's helpful. Having said that; each child is different. Do whatever is best for you and your family.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words. We have tried the gentle approach but it just seems to make him more angry, I suppose he can't understand why we are there yet won't pick him up. We should have nipped this in the bud months ago, I think it would have been much easier.

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    2. We by passed the cot and went for a low single bed with bed guard, that way we could lay next to toddler while he went to sleep, suited us.

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  5. I'm a big believer of sleep training too, the sooner the better as they have less "bad habits".
    Those who criticise you don't realise that teaching how to sleep and therefore heal your body and recharge your brain is actually a gift. There is an alarming number of school kids who still can't sleep through/in their own bed/ without props...that is proven to affect their school performance and concentration so just remind yourself of this simple fact, good luck xxx

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    1. Thanks that is reassuring. For us the problem is made worse by the fact our son is so grumpy and irritable, it has to be related to his sleep problems. I worry he will lag behind because he is simply so tired and overwrought. It's nice to have some support at a really difficult time for us.

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    2. Very much agree with From-fun-to-mum. Sleep is very important. If a softly softly approach doesn't work (and it didn't with our elder) then you have to be firm. And remember, the crying is because they are angry; it doesn't mean that they are right.

      Got my fingers crossed for you.

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    3. Thanks. I think it's time our two boys worked out who is in charge!

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  6. I believe you are doing the right thing for YOUR family. You know your children best, and you clearly know what doesn't work already. Please do not worry about having to take such a firm approach for now, anything which promotes a lifetime of better sleeping habits in your child is worth doing. No one else has the right to tell you what you are doing is wrong, because they do not fully understand your situation. Also, well done for being brave enough to talk about it so openly. Reading about this will help so many others. Looking forward to reading your progress, I am sure your hard work and perseverance will be worth it in the long run.

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    1. Thanks for your lovely comment. It's true we are doing what we feel is right. Our little man is constantly ill and also grumpy and not getting the beatty out of life. This has to be the best long term plan for him and us!

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  7. Aww, Pret-a-mummy :( no words of wisdom I'm afraid as no-one knows your child like you do, but I do appreciate it must be a really horrid and stressful situation for you. Not enough is done to help women (and men!) who are suffering from sleep deprivation, lets not forget it's a form of torture in some countries! I hope you manage to find a solution that works for all of you x

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    1. Thank you. It is horribly horribly torturous, worst when there is no end in sight and it's the same old disturbances night after night. Today, our child was so so different. Why? Because he slept through the night. He was alert, laughing, happy and really enjoyed his day. Thing was, he didn't wake up in the night, so we didn't need to leave him to cry!

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  8. This is like a little holy grail find for me, today I'm so fed up with lack of sleep... Z is 18 months and wakes at least once and this week it's been about 4 times a night, I feel like I'm going mental. On your last post I've already spotted some "big mistakes" I do. I let him nap for 2 hours plus if he wants to... Maybe that's why he just won't sleep? And I give him a boggle just before bed and in the night too. I'm going to start changing the easiest things and see what that does!

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    1. It's so easy to let them nap though esp when you need a break. I really feel for you, it's terrible when night after night you are getting no sleep but it affects every aspect of your life. Two months ago I was contemplating resigning from my job and becoming a hermit just so i could cope. Now I have not one but two new part time jobs which are both fulfilling and with prospects. All because I got some sleep. Good luck and let me know if you need any help.

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