Saturday, 7 July 2012

Mummy and Daddy Time

It's come to my attention that every relationship needs a little nurture to make it work. I confess that recently I've been very preoccupied with writing my blog, my freelance writing and now my new job writing the blog for Twinkl, that I've barely spoken to my hubby of late. When we do speak it's to discuss factual things like who is going supermarket shopping, the timetable for the boys, that sort of thing.  When you've been married a long time it can become easy to take your partner for granted and just think they will always be there for you. In an ideal world, this would happen naturally, but in reality, as my hairdresser said the other day, your most significant relationship is the most difficult thing to get right.

We are very lucky in that we have never ever had any jealousy in our relationship. I couldn't be with someone who made me doubt them and have never subscribed to the whole, "you need some mystique" thing. How can there be mystique anyway when your other half has seen you give birth?! No, for me, a tempestuous relationship like that would never work, I would find it exhausting and impossible to focus on other things, you know, like living.

We've also never been the type of couple who go out separately, as I've always seen that as a route to the road of ruin. What's the point in being married if you are just going to do your own thing all the time? I'm not prepared to sit at home on my home while hubby has a "pass out" (don't you just hate that expression, says it all really doesn't it, that the person with the "pass out" doesn't see the relationship or the children as their actual responsibility).  Anyway, if either of us went out without the other it just wouldn't feel right, my parents have never done it and to me that's a childish way to have a relationship (I'm talking about nights out, not going out of the house in general!).

So tonight we are having date night, it's been a while since we last spent some real time together, but we are going for a meal and some drinks at a lovely local restaurant, even though we are both shattered, it's important to make this time so we don't forget why we love each other so much.

Do you have date night?


  1. Date night sounds like a good idea. The only trouble is I find that me and DH are so worn out from looking after the kids all day we feel too exhausted to go out! We should make the effort though as we hardly seem to have any "quality" time together. I agree with you that the whole going out with mates all the time thing just leads to disaster. I'm happy to have the odd night out with girlfriends but prefer to go out as a couple really. I don't really understand couples who don't go out together. I mean if you don't like the person's company enough to go out with them then why be married! Also I know from experience that its pretty miserable to be the one stuck at home whilst your other half is out living it up and this gets worse if you have children.
    I'm going to be trying a date night next month I think!

    1. Thanks Emma, it is exhausting going out in the evening when you've been on the go all day, but also quite invigorating too. I've never understood those couples either who treat the other as if they are their mum/dad leaving them at home while they go out and "treat" themselves to time away from the family. It's not the example my parents set me with their own marriage and not the example I want to set to my own children either. Having said that I have quite a few nights out planned without hubby in the next few weeks, just the way it's worked out!

  2. I go out with my husband at least once a week but we're very lucky to have a live-in babysitter. We also have at least one weekend away every year child-free.

    However we also go out separately a couple of times a week, I'm out with friends twice this week in the evenings and wouldn't have it any other way. I think it's just as important to maintain friendships and just because we're married doesn't mean we have to be joined at the hip!

  3. We haven't had a date night since my daughter was born 11 months ago. She's a terrible sleeper. I've popped out a couple of times in the evening and come home and she's wide awake in Daddy's arms refusing sleep until i'm home. It's my OH's big b'day next week so she's coming along for a one off date night...


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