Things I do that annoy my two year old..

I was reading a post of much hilario the other day about things that we do that seemingly annoy the hell out of our children. Many of them are inexplicable, but what the hey, none of that matters to a toddler. Sometimes I'm utterly perplexed by exactly WHAT my toddler wants, he doesn't seem to know himself, or does he....
My toddler hates it if I....

• Sleep.
• Take a shower, cue screaming and trying to break down the door, or instead he decides to wash his toys with the door partially open soaking everything.
• Put him in the car.
• Take him out of the car.
• Give him cereal for breakfast
• Give him anything but cereal for breakfast, in the same day.
• Read him "Owl Babies" less than three times in one evening.
• Attempt to use my own phone.
• Put my shoes on.
• Desperately have a cup of tea.
• Speak to my other child.
• Tell him "no" if he puts his finger near something hot
• Speak to any other adult for longer than ten seconds.
• Sit down.
• Attempt to make any sort of phonecall.
• Won't take him to Thomasland every day.
• Won't let him wear his too small shoes.
• Don't let him drive my car.
• Steer him away from vicious dogs.
• Attempt to go to work so I can earn money so we can eat and stuff.

Poor thing, how does he sleep at night with all this mean stuff happening to him?

The poor child, not even allowed four ice creams and a theme park a day. We even stop him from hurling his ice cream on the floor, shame on us.